Sexual health is the ability to embrace and enjoy our sexuality throughout our lives, playing a key role in healthy relationships and contributing to your sense of wellbeing.
Sexual health is the ability to embrace and enjoy our sexuality throughout our lives, playing a key role in healthy relationships and contributing to your sense of wellbeing. Sexual health includes far more than avoiding infection or unplanned pregnancy, it is very personal and takes on its own meaning for each person.
What does sexual health mean?
Understanding thatsexualityis a natural part of life and involves more than sexual behaviour.
Recognising and respecting the sexual rights we all share.
Having access to sexual health information, education, and care.
Making an effort toprevent unintended pregnanciesand Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)and seekcare and treatmentwhen needed.
Being able to experiencesexual pleasure, satisfaction, and intimacy when desired.
Being able to communicate about sexual health with others includingsexual partnersandhealthcare providers.
Safe sex
Safe sex is having sexual contact while protecting yourself and your sexual partner against STIs and unplanned pregnancy. However, no method is 100% effective, so it's important to consider what precautions you're taking and discuss this with your partner.
Contraception & Protection - The REAL Sex Talk
00:00
Contraception. Protection. There's a lot out there.
00:03
Condoms. Connies.
00:05
Rubbers. Johnnies.
00:07
Big, adult balloons.
00:09
And there's the pill - the once-a-day, the baby stopper.
00:13
There's LARCs - long-acting reversible contraceptives -
00:17
the distance runners, the long-players.
00:20
# LARC the Herald Angels sing. #
00:24
(LAUGHS) That was terrible.
00:26
There's the oral, or dental dam,
00:28
or, as I like to call it, the 'dam, I feel like a woman'.
00:32
(CHUCKLES) No, that was bad.
00:33
Terrible. (LAUGHS)
00:34
(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
00:37
Captions by Able.
00:47
Not all forms of protection are the same.
00:49
Contraception stops babies from being made.
00:51
Protection stops diseases from being spread.
00:54
A condom does both. That's why it gets so much love.
00:57
Mwah!
00:59
That was weird.
01:00
So, if you're ever thinking, 'Do I need to use protection?'
01:03
you probably should.
01:05
Condoms or dental dams can protect you against sexually transmitted
01:09
diseases or infections.
01:11
And contraceptives, like the pill,
01:13
or long-acting reversible contraceptives,
01:15
like implants or IUDs, prevent you from getting pregnant.
01:19
Like condoms.
01:20
When should you use protection? Here's the thing -
01:25
There is an exception to this rule, but we'll bring that up later.
01:28
You should use protection every time you have sex,
01:31
not just if it's around or if you can be bothered.
01:33
Every time.
01:37
And its not just P in V.
01:40
It's not just... eggplant emoji in taco emoji.
01:45
CHUCKLES: No way!
01:46
Its also eggplant emoji and mouth emoji;
01:49
taco emoji and mouth emoji;
01:51
eggplant and eggplant;
01:52
eggplant and peach;
01:53
taco and taco;
01:55
taco and mouth.
01:58
In my experience,
01:59
same-sex sex was even harder to find out about protection
02:03
and even harder to know where to go to find it.
02:06
People often presume that you only need protection for penetrative sex.
02:10
But protection's also needed for most other sexual acts,
02:13
because STIs, or sexually transmitted infections,
02:16
can pass orally or anally as well.
02:19
It's less like - 'When do I need to use it?'
02:22
and more like, 'When do I not need to use it?'
02:24
Because unless you wanna deal with an STI, wrap it up.
02:27
The best way is to protect yourself in more than one way.
02:30
So, for example, if you're a woman having sex with a man,
02:33
even if you're on the pill, you should use a condom too.
02:36
Coming from a Polynesian home,
02:37
I know that sex is not talked about a lot, neither is contraception.
02:41
None of that sort of stuff is.
02:42
It's all still, for the most part, taboo,
02:45
so I didn't even talk to my mother about sex until I was 18 and 19 -
02:50
sort of when I had grown up
02:51
and talked to her as a grown-up about it.
02:53
But I was fortunate enough to have friends whose mothers
02:56
were very open about sexual health
02:58
and who were always there for me in that way.
03:01
Because I know it can be hard in a Polynesian family
03:04
to talk about things like sex and contraception.
03:06
It's so awkward and...
03:08
But you will be able to find that information
03:10
through other parents, hopefully, and older friends, maybe.
03:14
I've got a theory that the self-service checkout
03:17
at supermarkets, that they weren't put there
03:20
just to make shopping more efficient for people.
03:22
I reckon they were put there so that awkward teenagers
03:24
wouldn't feel awkward when buying condoms.
03:27
- (LAUGHTER) - WOMAN: Yeah!
03:29
Contraception is so important
03:30
because there's a lot of different ways that you can get pregnant.
03:33
There's the obvious - when the penis ejaculates sperm inside the vagina -
03:37
and then the not so obvious -
03:39
sperm on the hands, mouths, other things.
03:43
And sperm really just have one job to do,
03:45
and that's fertilise an egg,
03:47
so you've gotta be careful out there.
03:49
Some contraceptives affect people in different ways.
03:52
Some people experience side effects,
03:53
so finding the right one is really important.
03:57
Being a good Kiwi bloke, I've never spoken to anyone,
04:00
talked to anyone, mentioned anything to anyone
04:03
or disclosed anything to anyone. (CHUCKLES)
04:05
As a result, I've been an idiot for most of my adult life,
04:09
and it's been a rocky road.
04:11
I always go to the internet.
04:12
That's why I hope this will be on the internet,
04:14
cos it's a good place to go. It's private, and it's not embarrassing.
04:20
I maybe learnt what a condom was at school,
04:23
and from there, I just thought that was a good idea,
04:25
and so far, that's...
04:28
I haven't had a kid yet - that I know of.
04:30
So that's positive.
04:32
I think.
04:33
There's heaps different types of contraceptives,
04:35
but some are more effective than others.
04:37
The most effective form is if you get an IUD or an implant.
04:42
And the next most effective is if you use the pill
04:44
or you get an injection.
04:46
But by far the least effective and the most unreliable
04:49
is the pull-out method.
04:52
Implants and IUDs are also known as LARCs -
04:59
...for girls, women, people with vaginas,
05:01
and they last for up to five years.
05:04
An IUD is inserted into your uterus. But they don't protect against STIs.
05:10
Or there's an injection that girls or people with vaginas
05:13
can get every 12 weeks. But that doesn't protect from STIs either.
05:17
Then there's the pill, which you do have to take every day.
05:20
There are lots of different options in terms of pills,
05:22
so if you're considering it, you should talk to your doctor
05:25
to figure out the best one for you.
05:27
You can even just use the pill to skip periods.
05:30
And it's a good idea to keep using condoms,
05:32
and you should never feel pressured to stop using them
05:35
if you don't want to.
05:36
That one exception to the rule is
05:38
if you're in a committed relationship
05:39
with somebody that you trust and you've both had clear STI checks,
05:43
then you could talk about not using condoms or an oral-dental dam.
05:48
But the thing is - if there's a chance that you might get pregnant,
05:51
then you should be on some form of contraception.
05:53
There might come a time where you slip up.
05:56
But just because you've had unprotected sex,
05:58
doesn't mean you're out of options.
06:00
You might have done everything right but the condom just...
06:06
broke.
06:07
And if it happens to you, don't worry.
06:10
Talk to your doctor, or go to your Family Planning clinic.
06:13
See, at Family Planning, if you're under 22, it's free.
06:17
You may need an STI test as well as emergency contraception.
06:21
If you can't get to the doctor,
06:23
you can buy emergency contraception at the pharmacy over the counter,
06:26
and there's no need to be embarrassed,
06:28
because a lot of us have been there before.
06:30
The emergency contraceptive pill is most effective
06:33
if you use it straight after unprotected sex,
06:36
but you can use it up to three days afterwards.
06:38
Something that's really important to know about the ECP
06:41
is that it can be less effective if you weigh over 70 kilos.
06:45
In that case, you can have a copper IUD inserted
06:48
up to five days after you've had sex to prevent pregnancy.
06:53
There's nothing embarrassing about using emergency contraception.
06:56
And you don't have to go get it alone.
06:58
Remember, there were two of you involved last night.
07:01
If you do have an unplanned pregnancy, you still have options -
07:05
abortion, adoption,
07:07
and, if you're Maori, whangai, or keeping the baby.
07:10
All of these options are available to you,
07:12
and they are entirely your decision to make.
07:16
There are two different types of termination
07:18
available in New Zealand.
07:20
One of them is a medical termination,
07:22
and then there's a surgical termination.
07:24
A medical termination involves taking a pill to end the pregnancy,
07:28
and a surgical termination is a very safe, small surgical procedure.
07:32
If you think that you might need one of these procedures,
07:35
it's best if you come and see one of the doctors at Family Planning
07:38
or your own family doctor.
07:40
When it came to contraception,
07:42
I guess the biggest learning for me was through my friends.
07:46
We talked about it, shared stories about it.
07:50
But also I was quite lucky
07:51
to have quite what I call new-school parents,
07:54
and so talking to them about sex, talking to them about contraception
07:57
was totally cool.
07:59
So, you're in the bedroom; things are getting real.
08:01
You lean over, reach in the drawer, grab your old mate, tear it open...
08:07
But how do you get it on?
08:13
Why does it smell weird?
08:15
Okey-dokey.
08:16
First and foremost, make sure the condom is the right way up.
08:20
The tip should be coming up from the centre of the ring.
08:23
Prop penis, please.
08:25
Lovely. Thank you, Lizzie.
08:27
Now, hold the tip and roll the condom down the penis.
08:32
It's important you hold the tip so there's no air, otherwise -
08:36
(IMITATES EXPLOSION) - it could pop.
08:38
It's not gonna make that sound, but it could pop.
08:43
I think you can go now with the penis.
08:46
If ever you start to put on a condom the wrong way,
08:48
make sure you start again in order to fully protect yourself.
08:52
I'm lucky, or unlucky, that my mum is a sexual health nurse,
08:56
so it was a very, very open conversation in our household.
09:00
Mum would deliver me condoms on a regular basis.
09:06
98% of the time, pregnancies can be prevented
09:08
through using condoms correctly.
09:10
But the thing is you should also use a condom for oral sex,
09:13
because there's always a chance of getting an infection
09:16
through oral contact with genitals.
09:19
If you are performing oral sex on a vulva,
09:22
you can use a dental dam
09:25
to protect both yourself and your partner from STIs.
09:29
And if you don't have a dental dam,
09:31
you can always make one at home with some scissors and a condom.
09:35
(CHUCKLES)
09:37
So you roll out the condom like so.
09:40
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
09:42
Ta-da.
09:43
Cut the tip...
09:46
and the, uh, rim,
09:49
I think they call this.
09:53
And then,...
09:55
uh, you cut it open,
10:01
I suppose.
10:02
I just usually slide it all the way through.
10:06
Ta-da!
10:07
- (SCISSORS CLATTER) - Don't need those.
10:09
And here we have...
10:12
an at-home, masterclass
10:16
dental dam.
10:18
Sometimes people avoid condoms cos they think they can kill the mood.
10:21
But even if your penis gets a little bit shy putting on its raincoat,
10:25
you can still bring the sexy back.
10:29
I think people have this idea that...
10:33
if you don't use a condom, it feels better,
10:35
which is definitely not necessarily the truth.
10:38
But even if that was the truth, I just think
10:41
the risks involved there are just...
10:45
You know, if you're thinking about
10:48
the number of people who have got,...
10:50
I don't know, a serious sexually transmitted infection
10:54
or gotten pregnant, say, and they weren't, perhaps, prepared for that.
11:00
If you think of the number of those people where that happened
11:03
literally so that people could have 10, 20 minutes of a good feeling,
11:08
you know, like, that just is such a risk to take.
11:12
So, who's responsible for organising this sort of stuff?
11:15
The answer's pretty simple - it's both of you.
11:17
Both of you.
11:19
All of the people involved in the 'event'
11:22
should also be responsible for making sure that everything is safe.
11:25
You go home with someone, and you get all excited and nervous,
11:29
and you try and look for a condom through your wallet,
11:31
and it turns out you don't have one.
11:33
The you gotta go across the road to the Caltex, and you gotta buy one,
11:37
but then you spend literally two hours
11:39
trying to get the courage to go up to the counter and buy it.
11:41
- (LAUGHTER) - And then by the time you get home,
11:43
- she's just crashed out. - (LAUGHTER)
11:47
Sometimes you assume that the other person's got it covered
11:50
in terms of the contraception and protection side of things.
11:53
But it's really important to have a conversation
11:55
about what you're using and to make that sure both of you are aware
11:58
and comfortable and supportive about what you're going to do together.
12:02
I used to think it was just my responsibility to be on the pill,
12:05
and I didn't talk to my partner about it.
12:08
But it's really important to discuss options together.
12:11
You can get condoms from your doctor or Family Planning.
12:14
And guess what - you will not be the first person to ask.
12:17
So chill, and don't worry.
12:19
And don't think you're special either.
12:21
Your doctor's given out a lot of them before.
12:23
When I was a teenager and I started thinking about using protection,
12:28
I didn't go to Family Planning or any of the people I should have.
12:32
Me and my friend just had a bet,
12:33
and one of us had to go into the pharmacy and buy some condoms.
12:36
And then we both had a packet of chocolate-flavoured condoms
12:41
that neither of us ever used.
12:43
We tasted them, and they were disgusting. (CHUCKLES)
12:48
(LAUGHTER)
12:50
(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
12:52
Captions by Able.
12:54
Copyright Able 2018
Sexually transmitted Infections (STIs)
STIs are really common. Anyone who is sexually active, is at risk of getting an STI. You're most at risk if you have a new sexual partner, or don't use a barrier method of contraception, such as a condom, when having sex.
Sexually Transmitted Infections
00:00
Gonorrhoea.
00:01
The clap.
00:02
The chlam.
00:03
Chlamydia.
00:04
Crabs.
00:05
Crotch crickets.
00:07
Herpes or cold sores.
00:09
The gift that keeps on giving.
00:12
(MID-TEMPO ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
00:14
Captions by Able.
00:24
When I first learnt about sex,
00:26
they showed me this picture of an STI and were like,
00:28
'This is what will happen to you if you ever have sex.'
00:31
I thought that if I had sex, I would automatically get an STI,
00:34
and then my mum would have to take me to the doctor.
00:36
Then everyone would know that I not only had sex
00:38
but that I've also got an STI.
00:40
So, as a teenager, I think I was quite sheltered.
00:43
Like, I went to an all-boys Catholic high school.
00:47
Sex was never really brought up,
00:49
apart from, like, year 13, where we did sex ed,
00:52
and we got taught about STIs
00:54
and we got taught about chlamydia.
00:57
And chlamydia, as it turns out, is an STI;
00:59
- it's not a type of flower, as I... - (LAUGHTER)
01:02
...grew up thinking it was.
01:03
STIs are a common part of sexual activity,
01:05
and it's nothing to be ashamed about.
01:07
You can't tell just by lookin' at someone if they have an STI.
01:11
I shit you not. Like, my dad used to grow flowers,
01:13
and you had your, like, begonias, your tulips, your camellias,
01:16
- your chlamydias. - (LAUGHTER)
01:19
Like, my mate came round to my house one day, and he's like,
01:21
'Oh, bro, just gave my girlfriend some chlamydia,' and I thought,
01:23
'Oh, that's romantic.' But, nah, it's not.
01:25
- (LAUGHTER) - It's the opposite.
01:29
There are lots of STIs, from chlamydia to HIV.
01:32
Some of the more common ones include things like gonorrhoea,
01:35
HPV and herpes.
01:37
Chlamydia is the most common STI in New Zealand,
01:40
and if it's not treated, it can cause infertility.
01:42
You can get it from unprotected sexual contact,
01:45
including vaginal, anal and oral sex.
01:49
Gonorrhoea's a bacterial infection,
01:51
and if left untreated, it can cause infertility.
01:54
You can get gonorrhoea from unprotected sex.
01:56
The human papilloma virus, or HPV, has no symptoms,
02:00
but it can be a nasty infection, because it can cause cancer.
02:04
But luckily, there's a vaccine that can help protect you.
02:06
I get a lot of questions about herpes.
02:09
People wanna know how they can get it
02:10
if they didn't sleep with someone with herpes,
02:12
and the answer is that not everyone knows that they've got it.
02:15
People also wanna know if they can get it on their genitals
02:19
if they have sex or oral sex
02:20
with someone with cold sores on their mouth,
02:22
and the answer to that is yes.
02:25
It's the same virus.
02:27
One of the viruses likes living round the mouth,
02:29
and one likes living round the genitals,
02:31
but they can live in both places.
02:33
But if you just kiss someone with a cold sore,
02:35
you'll give them a cold sore on their mouth,
02:37
not on their genitals.
02:39
But if you give someone oral sex with a cold sore,
02:41
you could give them genital herpes.
02:43
Which is why it's really important to tell your partner
02:46
if you have an STI.
02:48
Always use condoms and dental dams,
02:49
particularly if you are HIV-positive.
02:52
For more information about AIDS and HIV,
02:54
you can visit the AIDS Foundation website.
02:57
So, what if you don't know if you have STI?
03:00
If you have any symptoms -
03:01
like discharge from your penis or vagina,
03:05
bleeding between periods,
03:07
lower abdominal pain,
03:08
pain when peeing,
03:10
pain during sex or pain in your testicles,
03:13
go and get checked by a doctor or at a Family Planning clinic.
03:17
Best thing to do is to get checked often.
03:19
See, I keep a note in my phone. So pay phone bill; get STI check;
03:24
schedule FaceTime with mum. Hmm.
03:26
Some STIs don't have any symptoms,
03:28
and so if you have unprotected sex or you change your partner,
03:31
make sure you get tested.
03:33
There's another group of infections
03:34
that aren't technically classified as STIs
03:37
but can still be uncomfortable.
03:39
First, there's the urinary tract infection, or UTI.
03:42
Otherwise known as, 'It burns! It burns.'
03:46
And, 'Why do I have to pee for the 40,000th time?'
03:51
The most common way to get a UTI is when
03:53
bacteria from around your anus...
03:55
WHISPERS: Or bum.
03:56
...gets into your urethra...
03:57
WHISPERS: Your pee hole.
03:59
...and causes an infection. This can happen after having sex.
04:02
People with vaginas are more at risk of a UTI,
04:05
and one way to prevent that is to pee before and after sex.
04:09
If you have a UTI, you'll need to see a doctor or nurse.
04:12
And trust me - you'll want to.
04:14
Honestly, it's not scary going to see a doctor or a nurse.
04:17
It's like seeing an old friend -
04:19
except they ask what kinda sex you're having,
04:21
which, to be honest, is kinda what my old friends do anyway.
04:23
There's also pubic lice, which is basically like nits for your pubes.
04:29
It's... pube lice.
04:32
Other infections can include bacterial vaginosis and thrush,
04:36
and symptoms of thrush can include...
04:42
...and you might even get itchiness.
04:44
But the thing is - both people with penises or vaginas can get it.
04:48
If you're seeing these symptoms for the first time, go and see a doctor,
04:51
but if you've had these symptoms before and you get them again,
04:53
you can buy thrush medication at the pharmacy without a prescription.
04:57
Bacterial vaginosis is caused when
04:59
the normal balance of bacteria in your vagina is upset.
05:02
This can be more likely to happen
05:04
if you've got a new sex partner or you've started having sex more.
05:08
Symptoms that you might notice would be
05:10
a funny, smelly discharge that might be kinda grey in colour,
05:13
and if you have these symptoms,
05:15
you'll need to see a doctor or nurse.
05:17
The doctor or nurse might ask you questions like -
05:19
when were you last checked?
05:20
Do you have any symptoms? Have you changed your partner recently?
05:24
Do you use protection? And what kind of sex do you have?
05:27
One thing that can make you more likely to get BV or thrush
05:30
is by washing your vagina with anything other than water.
05:34
Ooh!
05:36
So don't squirt anything up there, even if it's soapy.
05:39
Especially if it's soapy.
05:40
When you go to the doctor, you should tell them everything.
05:44
They've heard literally everything.
05:46
I tell my doctors some stuff they don't wanna hear.
05:49
I told my last doctor
05:50
that I ran over my cat.
05:52
I was so nervous the first time I got a check,
05:55
but it's not that hard. Sometimes you just have to pee into a cup,
05:58
which I accept as a personal challenge of my aim.
06:02
Sometimes you have to get a swab, but that's pretty sweet,
06:06
and often you can do it yourself,
06:07
or you can get them to do it for you.
06:10
Sometimes it's not a swab; it's just a blood test,
06:12
or they just have a feel around.
06:14
Honestly, it's just like getting your hard drive checked for viruses.
06:17
If there was anything I could tell my younger self,
06:19
it would be to never be embarrassed about
06:21
a doctor lookin' at your bits, because it's literally their job.
06:25
Sometimes when I run into my doctor in the street, I think,
06:28
'Hang on. You've held my testicles in your hands before,'
06:30
but that's just cos I think my testicles are special.
06:32
I'm probably just any old pair of testicles to them.
06:35
The good thing is - if you get checked regularly,
06:37
you can pick up on any issues early and you can treat them.
06:40
You can take a pill.
06:42
Or use a cream.
06:44
Just shave off all your pubes.
06:45
That one is just for crabs.
06:47
Most STIs are very easily treated, mostly just with antibiotics.
06:52
Some STIs, though, can be treated but not cured.
06:55
Oh, yeah - herpes.
06:57
That won't go away, but it's pretty chill to deal with.
07:00
Look, best-case scenario is that you don't end up with an STI,
07:02
so make sure you stay safe.
07:05
Condoms or oral or dental dams
07:07
are your best bet for safeguarding you against STIs.
07:10
Remember, the best way to protect yourselves from an infection
07:13
is to use protection.
07:15
SOFTLY: Did I just rhyme 'infection' and 'protection'?
07:18
No glove, no love.
07:20
That's the rule of thumb.
What are the symptoms of STIs?
Not all STIs have symptoms. You can have an STI without even knowing as sometimes the symptoms are so small, especially in the early stages. Because there are many different STIs, the symptoms vary. Some of the general symptoms include:
Unusual discharge from your penis or vagina
Itch or rash on or around your genitals
Lumps, blisters or sores on or around your genitals
Pain in your genital area or groin
Pain in your penis or vagina when having sex
Pain or a burning sensation when passing urine (peeing).
When should I get tested for an STI?
It's a really good idea to get tested for an STI if you have been in a situation that may have put you at risk, such as:
Having unprotected sex (vaginal, anal or oral).
Your current or past partner has or has had an STI.
Before you begin a new relationship.
A condom broke – get tested a few weeks later and get some tips to make sure condoms are much less likely to break next time.
You're having a general health check-up.
You have symptoms or just feel something isn’t quite right.
You or your partner have shared needles for drugs, tattooing or piercing.
How can NZDF help you?
Make an appointment at your local DHC to see a nurse or GP. The staff are trained in sexual health matters and are able to provide confidential and discreet treatment and advice for your situation.
More information on safe sex and STI topics (NZ Health Navigator)